Let’s Play: Final Fantasy 4 (Part 1)

19 02 2013

Final Fantasy IV Advance_01

So now we enter the age of the story heavy FF games. This time we don’t get to name our heroes unfortunately, but lets see what adventures they will embark on.

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Meet Cecil, a dark knight and leader of the Red Wings, the airship squadron of the king’s army. They’ve just murdered a bunch of innocent people to steal the water crystal from a sacred temple.

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Ya think?

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Cecil tries to explain why murder and plundering are vital to the survival of their kingdom when the ship is attacked by monsters.

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He’s not to happy about this.

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Cecil proceeds to butcher a…Zu? Who names these things?

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They practically RAN into our swords.

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Clearly.

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The mark of a great leader. Demanding blind obedience and jumping to conclusions. What is it with FF games and crappy kings?

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Bomb Ring? Seriously Cecil, how many red flags have to go up before you get the fact that YOUR KING IS BATSHIT CRAZY!?

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Cecil’s friend Kain tries to defend him, but the king will have none of it.

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Sure he will. And he’ll have ponies wait for you on your return and you’ll all ride off into sunsets and rainbows. Are we all forgetting this is the king who just gave you a BOMB?

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If_you_know_what_I_mean.

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Thank you crazy-looking homeless man with too much facial hair, I will!

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So after wandering a cave and killing a dragon made of mist, I finally make it to the village.

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Throw it and run!

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Wait. You took a BOMB RING from the king. I’ll repeat that. BOMB RING. And you’re surprised when the BOMB RING explodes and destroys the town? Are your helmets on too tight?

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Well, now I feel like a horrible person.

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Yes Cecil. Tell the scared little girl WHO CAN SUMMON GODLIKE MONSTERS that you just murdered her mommy.

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Yeah. That goes over about as well as you think.

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So after surviving the earthquake, Cecil kidnaps the little girl and runs off. I think  we need a “Sonic Says” moment here…

Will Cecil ever find Kain? Will the little girl ever forgive him for killing her mommy? Will Cecil ever stop being a clueless moron? Tune in next time to find out the answers to these questions and more!

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