Let’s Play: Final Fantasy II (Part 3)

8 02 2013

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After being gouged out of their money by the greedy blacksmith, our heroes were sent to destroy the evil empire’s doomsday weapon, the Dreadnought.

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Meet Borgen, the incompetent bad guy of FF2.

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To get to the Dreadnought, we have to go through the sewers. Why does every game have to have a sewer level?

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THOSE ARE BALLOONS? No wonder kids are scared of clowns with balloon animals.

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Well, that sucks.

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Jesus! Its like a mechanical whale with propellers!

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Funny how anti-climactic things get when put into perspective, huh?

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In order to stop the Dreadnought, we must find an artifact called the Goddess Bell. Its back in the snow plains. Joy. Oh, and Captain Canoe leaves the party. There goes my dedicated healer.

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Apparently Ponchoman has a snowmobile that we can use to reach the snow cave. And he hid it in a secret room in the waterfall cave. Why?

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So Ponchoman joins the party. AND HE IS AWESOME. Seriously. Multicolored poncho AND Rayman-style fisticuffs. That’s pretty much win.

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REALLY? WE’RE DOING THE CHEST THING AGAIN? How does a SNOWMOBILE fit in a chest?

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Oh hey. That must be the cave we’re supposed to go to…
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THAT IS NOT A SNOWMAN!

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So after navigating an overly complicated cave system, our heroes stumble across…a cave of talking beavers. WTF?

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Same to you buddy.

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Of course you do. Why not?

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Because THIS required translation. Stick to hitting things with an axe Chicken.

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A what? Wolverine turtle? There’s only one way for us to survive that.

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KILL IT WITH ICY DEATH!!!

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Yay!
Seriously though, talking Beavers, metal turtles, and a boxing man in a poncho. I think this game has officially jumped the shark. This seems to be a good jumping off point for now. Next time we’ll take a look at the next game in the series. I wonder who our heroes will be this time?

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